IKEA and the box of bits

Flat Pack Purgatory.

It's not the weight of two massive boxes of a thousand random parts.
It's not the instruction cartoon doodles that confuse before you start.
It might be carpet burns and trapped fingers that make you mad. 
or the fact she went and bought that flat pack that makes you feel so bad.

So it begins with bags of pegs and the cheapest Allen key.
except this key is square and of no bloody use to me.
Those tricky little turn buckle things
that seem a great invention
Until you've lost one under the bed, that was not your intention.
Why do they send the thing in bits I'd rather it came complete.
4 hours in and sweating cobs I hate this flat pack feat.

Once the piece starts to look like what,
it is supposed to be.
Then comes to my head the worries that always occur to me
What if the didn't send enough of panel two or widget they call X,
What if the mushroom headed bolt is missing .... oh what the heck.

It near the end and relief is close I've finished the big white thingy.
But I have a wooden peg left over, and straps made from rubber from a dingy.
Should I brag to the missus that my task is now complete.
Or should I hide the leftovers as she might see that as defeat.

But just before I put out the box and make a cup of tea.
Oh flipping heck there another box in't car I didn't see.
The moral of this story is go with her to IKEA
Then you can watch what she is buying next and say "no that's far to dear"